A brief reflection on the lessons of this past calendar year.
If you are not clear on what you want, there is no way for you to actualize it.
You can’t make decisions for anyone else. My controlling ass would love this to be the case. But, at the end of the day, everyone is an autonomous being. They can make choices you do not understand or ones that you disagree with. And, that is okay. These are not your choices.
“ But, that’s the way we’ve always done it” really is the worst phrase in the history of all phrases.
Structure and routine truly bring me joy. Having a consistent practice ( one that I allow myself to gracefully step away from every once in a while) ground me and give me the untempered energy that I need to face the daily wear and tear of life.
Healing work is work. It demands action. It doesn’t magically happen. It requires patience and effort. You have to schedule the therapist appointment, set aside time for movement, and consciously buy the food your body craves. It takes time. But, boy oh boy, is it worth it.
Sharing playlists is a love language.
Friendships are a deep source of love that our cultural narrative has neglected. Friendships can provide joy, support, and consistency in ways that romantic relationships are idealized to do so ( and they can as well). Nurture the friendships- they matter.
Sometimes the universe has other plans for you. That’s okay. There is meaning in the madness of it all. If you told me a year ago that I would be moving back to Jersey and loving it- I would have laughed my face off.
Buy yourself the flowers anyway.
Kitchen medicine is magic. Brewing a cup of tea, combining herbs, using fruits and veggies to make a tincture. It’s all wonderful. My anti-flu tea, inspired by the Brujas of Brooklyn, is a weekly ritual that brings me joy and I am convinced keeps me well. ( cinnamon sticks, clove, red apple, red onion, garlic)
It’s usually ‘both-and..” instead of “either-or”. It's both allopathic and functional medicine. It's both masculine and feminine. It's both independence and the desire for connection. It’s both structure and freedom.
Family is who you say it is. Not necessarily who you are related to.
Share your weird. In most spaces, I am uncomfortable sharing the witchy sides of myself. However, this is a pretty major part of me. The spaces I quiet this side of myself to appease others are the spaces I feel myself shrink. I am learning to bring this facet of me forth with more confidence. The right folks will always find you- it is not my ( or your) job to make everyone comfortable.
Be effusive with your praise. If you are thinking a kind thought about someone- tell them. This small moment doesn’t cost you anything, is relatively easy, and you never know how much this means to the other person. The world is hard enough as it is.
Sometimes you are the toxic person, too. There is another side of the story that you don’t have access to.
Just answer the text. It takes 8x as long to look at it, close it, and come up with a stupid excuse for your delayed response. No one is expecting perfection here. A perfectly good response is “let me think about that” or, “ I will get back to you when I have the space to do so.”
I am allowed to assert the need for my personal space. Interestingly, the pandemic has made this much easier for me. I used to not know how to vocalize the fact that I am not the hugging type.
Capitalism does not want you to rest. Challenge the status quo- do it anyway.
Nature knows better than we do. There is a reason animals hibernate in the winter. Tides change every day. Flowers wilt. Fruit rots. Blossoms bloom. Trees talk to each other. Take some time to sit with it all and learn.
True wellness is different than the wellness industry. The wellness industry will always try to sell you something. Watch how the narrative shifts. Wellness for you will be a process of self-discovery, not something someone on Instagram swears by. You are allowed to pick and choose and even change your mind.
Putting anyone on a pedestal is usually a red flag. Invest in someone’s humanity, not the version you have created in your head.
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