1. Everyone loves to tell you who you are. This is only mildly helpful, and often more confusing as you sort through the disparate pieces yourself. I have found that the quiet solo moments, the ones where I tune out all of the very loud noise around me help to reveal parts of myself in small, beautiful ways.
2. Resistance to a given situation often makes it worse. Buddhists got this so right- mental resistance is the root of suffering.
3. If we do not dedicate time to ourselves, whether that is through ritual, practice, nourishing not numbing alone time; then our body will yell so loud we have to pay attention to it. This yelling is often unpleasant and painful.
4. I need nature more than I ever knew that I needed it; trees, sand, dirt, and water. I feel restored and rejuvenated in these spaces. Find places that call to you and heal.
5. The first thing to go when my life gets tough is my ability to feed myself nourishing foods. I lose my ability to discern what makes my body feel good in the long run with what makes my body feel good for .45 seconds. This is an area of continued growth and work for me
6. You can change your mind- correct your dogmatic beliefs, seek new information, and pursue new paths.
7. Healing doesn’t really end; it's an interesting pursuit because it's ongoing and there is no real, tangible goal. This concept challenges my productive/capitalistic mind like crazy and I love it. The commitment to my healing is the greatest and most rewarding challenge of my life.
8. Just because you thought you worked on something with yourself doesn’t mean it's over. Life will trigger that wound in all the ways that it can, years later. The best thing you can do is acknowledge the pain and figure out how to deal with it differently than you did in the past.
9. You can always take a moment. You don’t have to fill the space.
10. Let the world surprise and delight you. I find myself feeling heavy with the grief of the world on a regular basis- after all, we don’t live in a society designed for empaths. However, a mantra that I try to adapt is to let the world surprise you. I sit with myself in the morning and ask the universe to do this and there is at least one nugget a day that fills this quota. A smile is guaranteed.
11. People matter more than things. This is easy to say and easier to forget.
12. I’ve said this a million times and will shout this to the rooftops, at the end of the day everyone is seeking love. We do this in so many different ways, often unrecognizable from what we are seeking. Validation, sex, money, and ambition, are all ways people seek love. We don’t have language around love and therefore many are misguided in their pursuit.
13. Living a full, expansive life requires grieving. You must let go of former expectations for your life. You must let go of society’s expectations and this can be isolating. Grief is imminent but it opens a door.
14. My timeline is not your timeline is not their timeline is not her timeline.
15. Living seasonally is probably the way to go. We have forgotten this as a collective. My personal mission is to find this type of life.
16. Wow …. childhood and teenage trauma haunts you forever. Didn’t see that one coming.
17. Question urgency. It is a tool of capitalistic oppression. Notice how your body responds to urgent situations- what’s happening with your jaw? Your shoulders? Stomach? Is there tension or a knot? If so, something about the urgency is out of alignment with your being.
18. Your body holds tremendous wisdom. Listen. I have found this to be especially true with my cycle. Menstruating humans have incredible access to understanding their bodies through this four-week process. We are different each week, with different requirements, varying needs in terms of movement and food, and emotional balance. When we are able to tap into this, we are able to live more presently in our lives. Moreover, if your cycle is off that is probably the first indication that something is wrong.
19. I want to be fully present in my life.
20. Transitions are sticky; they are unchartered territory and you can take your time navigating them. You get to make your own roadmap here.
22. Find your own team of healers. This looks different for every person. I need a team of spiritual healers to help me make sense of this life; psychics, reiki masters, acupuncturists, sound healers, NIS practitioners, and functional medicine doctors. However, I also need 1-2 western medical doctors as well- this is a new addition for me. As a fat person, I am weary of doctors due to the overwhelming amount of fatphobia in the western medical world. But, in the past year, I have realized how important some of this upkeep is for my vessel.
23. The organism will try to protect itself at all costs. Your patterns, habits, woundings, and defenses are all the layers your body and mind have created to keep you safe. They probably worked at some point- they were acquired for a reason. However, they are most likely not serving you now. What would it feel like to release some of that armor? What burden can you lay down and feel lighter? What if everything did work out?
24. Keep promises you make to yourself. This is how you develop self-love, self-confidence, and all of the things that make you a better person to be in relationship with.
25. If they bring out the best in you, they are worth keeping. Conversely, if they bring out the worst in you, cut ties.
26. Weekly meetings with myself are essential to check in on if I like who I am becoming. Do I like how I speak to others? Myself? Can I hold grace and space for myself when I respond in moments of tension? Can I make a plan for doing better in the future? I try to do this without falling into the death spiral of self-criticism.
27. Moons are it. I told people I was a moon priestess before I became one. This was my inner knowing.
28. I can be soft too. This was my declaration at my transformational retreat in August. I want to invite ease and gentleness back into my life. I want to be okay with resting and not always being on alert. I can be soft and sensual and still worthy of love. I do not always have to have an edge, be the best, or keep a hard exterior.
29. We’re not meant to do this thing alone- life is a group project. It is okay AND safe for me to recognize this.
30. Literally, nothing is more magical than a group of women coming together to heal and grow. Nothing.
31. Change is the only constant. Acknowledging this is one thing and living it is another. People change. Jobs change. Prices change. Circumstances change. How can I learn to embrace this rather than reject it?
I’m a thrift store maximalist in a world where sterile minimalism is trendy. I used to be embarrassed about this. Now, it just makes sense. I like what I like. It doesn’t matter what’s en vogue.
32. Not every hobby, interest, or strength you have has to be monetized. You can do something just because you love it.
33. Trust your gut. She knows best. She is not anxiety, she feels different- more sure. A whole body knowing.
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