My eighth-grade English teacher repeated the exact same phrases, instilling a trance-like understanding of the basics of the English language. I use many of these today in my own practices of teaching and have found them to not only remain relevant but help students to unearth a consideration of what they are doing in this weird thing called school. Among these cannoned phrases include, “ a thesis is that which is to be proven and maintained” and, “ repetition is the mother of all learning.” I hear myself saying these words over and over again, almost without thought, echoing a man that I admired. Sometimes, however, I stop to really listen to what I am saying. In particular, the phrase “ repetition is the mother of all learning” has been on loop in my brain as I have traversed a summer where many of my bad habits have decided to reemerge. They’ve repeated. This leads me to the question of whether or not we really learn a life lesson until we’ve been met with similar situations and avoided repeating past mistakes.
The Buddhist and Hindu concepts of karma and dharma involve circularity; they are cycles. If you subscribe to this belief system, the idea that the same lessons show up in your life until you’ve met them with new ( transcended) responses is a core value. I don’t believe that the universe is out to get us, or that we have to play a game in order to succeed in life, but I do believe we each have a mission. This mission involves learning. Therefore if we are to learn something, we must repeat things, ideas, phrases, and situations. Rehearsal is necessary for performance, practice precludes the big game, and science experiments need to be done multiple times in order to reach a conclusion. Our learning, therefore, requires us to repeat, evaluate, and do better. But, what happens when that cycle, for whatever reason, is stunted? What if we never get to the “do better” stage?
Repeating a past pattern is filled to the brim with the irony of a Greek tragedy; you can see it coming, but can’t stop the events from unfolding. You tell yourself that you will not respond in the ways that you have in the past; and yet old feelings, words, and stories come through and out of you like a raging fire, In which you find yourself consumed and disabled. The learning through repetition process makes more sense when it is outside of ourselves, however, it is essential to accessing our own greatness. The “do better” stage is not always guaranteed in the way it might be when rehearsing for a play. The notes that we are given beforehand are not always digestible. Yet, how else do we break this cycle? We can only get out of a loop if we step outside its bounds. We must try something new and decide it no longer serves us to keep walking in circles. Repetition may be the mother of all learning, but the progeny of growth is our own ability to look at what we have repeated and change the future by no longer acting by rote.
Some steps that I have learned to get out of repeating old patterns are as follows:
Change your environment: go somewhere else if possible for an hour, a day, or a few days.
Respond with a pause: say, “ I will need some time to think about this” rather than jumping in with a typical answer.
Move/ cry/ shake it out. Jumping up and down. Ecstatic dancing is strongly encouraged here.
Call a friend and let them speak. Do the listening.
Say “isn’t that interesting” every time an old wounding shows up in your brain. Repeat often.
Say “yes” to something you typically wouldn’t say yes to.
Make something with your hands: art, food, write a song, build a sandcastle.
Write it out: stream of consciousness style (what you are thinking) and go back to read it afterward. You will see yourself more clearly.
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